You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
