I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
