Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
