oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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