remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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