Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
