She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
