Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
