If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
