Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
