i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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