JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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