Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
