How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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