She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
