i would punch a child for taco bell
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
