Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
