Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
