His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
