Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
