I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
