I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
