Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
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