If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
