Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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