Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
