your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
