one two three fourrrrnication!
Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
