why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
