I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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