Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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