Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
