He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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