There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
