Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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