are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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