Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
