he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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