alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
