IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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