just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
