question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
