Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
