Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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