Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
