wanna go halves on a baby?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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