do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
