Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
