tell your sister to shave her snatch
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
