I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
